Practicing Gratitude

Gratitude

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
                                                                                                                                      Dictionary.com

Besides Multiple Sclerosis, I am an alcoholic, sober 26 years. Two things keep a soul sick, one of which is self pity, the other is resentment, really one interplay’s with the other. Both self pity and resentment had to go if I wanted to live sober successfully and equally, they must go to successfully adapt to the Wahls Protocol lifestyle. If I practice gratitude, I don’t feel sorry for myself and if I don’t feel sorry for myself than I am not resentful over what others have or don’t have. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have this mastered, that would make me a saint, a saint I am not. However, I do have a lot of practice applying the principle of “active” gratitude.

When I am feeling low, as I have this past week. I get out of it by finding a way to be of service. Even if its simply noticing and complimenting someone’s new hair cut. Its a simple thing that can make someone’s day. Or avail myself by answering if someone calls or call someone, just because. I can’t complain about being lonely, but do nothing to improve my situation and go out of my way to be a part of something. These acts take me out of my tendency for self absorbed reflection, which sometimes is necessary for change, however, to be constructive, the self reflection has to then progress to an action or it becomes morose. Yesterday, I said that I would do housework, I did my laundry, not a biggie, yet it left them clean and fresh. I made a point of getting out early this morning to a support group that I frequent at 7 am. A positive power hour of which I showed my support by being present and vocal when asked. After, in my neighborhood, I walked a lot and was shocked to find that I had another leap forward in my walking ability. My speed has picked up, my walking surer. Falling is not an issue anymore, if my toe does catch, it doesn’t spell out a fall as it once always did, hence the former need for a cane. Morose feelings that I’ve had as of late, can stop me from experiencing what I experienced today. By, staying home, feeling bad, feeling hopeless instead of hopeful, I wouldn’t have realized that this had happened. Funny thing, all that gratitude put a big smile on my face and a skip in my step that people were responding to. I was nicer, I was fully engaged in my surroundings and the people in it and I was patient. I chose to be grateful. Music and dance is a way that I treat myself to the expression of gratitude. I listened to Robert Plant and the Strange Sensation’s album Mighty ReArranger. I forgot how good that album is and was filled with joyous dance.

I’m so grateful for the Dr. Wahls Protocol, I want to carry a message about it, to be a part of getting this information out to as many people as possible so that they can at least consider it. I hope to show them how it works with my own example. The damage and calamity I could’ve avoided had I known that certain foods taken in or excluded, and that a lifestyle could make an impact like this on an otherwise hopeless illness. Here is where I can’t rue the past. What is is. Instead, I’m grateful I have the opportunity now. When I feel sorry for myself that I can’t have birthday cake or pasta, I ask myself, do I want pasta or do I want to walk? When I put it that way, well, its obvious what I want. Action!

Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Bonne Sante

 

Picture from Pexels

 

 

Tested!

As I apply the Wahls Protocol to my life day after day, I am gaining in strength each and everyday in one way or another. Along the way, I also have setbacks and challenges. This weekend was a challenge weekend that brought about a small setback. An unexpected administrative shift occurred requiring me as secretary to negotiate, write and delegate duties. It brought home a truth that I need to be wary of. I still believe that working is a possibility in five and a half months, however, this helped me remember the fatigue that can happen when a situation such as this comes up. In some employment situations, this is the job. As I dealt with the complication, I discovered damage I very much still have and I learned of improvements to that damage as well.

By nature, I am a driven sort of person. I am very ambitious and goal motivated. Being an Adrenalin junkie, I like it when things are hopping. I was always good at multitasking and thinking fast in the midst of change. After suffering the MS attack I had on the cognitive section of my brain in 2009, I laid low for a long time. I had too. The first two years, I had stopped reading anything. I took no non profit service commitments (an important aspect of my life). I then had two years, off and on, of intensive work with Occupational Therapists to learn to organize in a way that accommodates a damaged short term memory, the inability to multitask and the reduced ability to take in my surroundings, all of which contributed to my decision to not renew my driver’s license. If I didn’t respect this, I would have horrible melt downs in tears due to the fatigue of over tasking a cognitively damaged brain.

Now in some ways, I have rehabbed a great deal due to Occupational Therapy and my willingness to follow thru with their direction and suggestions. Since the Wahls Protocol, I have resolved even more of that damage. In a short six months, my thinking is clearer and logistics are understood quicker, where before they were murky and required a full two days for the information to sink in enough to make an adequate decision. Lots of terrible mistakes when I would act before I had the time to sort it all out. This is infinitely better. What is still present is the fatigue of the work of over thinking which is required to work through an unexpected situation. Friday, as the second wave of emails came in, that which I reacted to in angst as I walked through it all with a friend I was supposed to be supporting, who then became my supporter (funny how spirituality works). As problems of this nature do, they all are on their way to being resolved. Everyone stepped up to take on the extra tasks. That felt so good. It truly is a wonderful nonprofit that I am involved in. All said and done, I crashed yesterday afternoon. I did not move off my couch till this morning. I forbid myself any heavy thinking, writing or reading. I exercised this morning, but even that, I took it easy. I swam half what I ordinarily do and made the decision to skip the second workout. I’ll catch up tomorrow morning. Of course through all of this, my e-stim sessions went out the window. I did do the physio exercises Friday morning, I’ve worked those into my gym workout.

So, big breath, what have I learned?

  • Need to meditate more and talk less (yes, this is a help to the issue above)
  • Get back to making jewelry, a meditative art outlet I’ve utilized for decades (the artistic section of my brain was unaffected by the damage and so, when I do anything artistic, it eases the hurt parts)
  • Factor into my future decisions on employment the fact that, while I believe that Nutritional Ketosis and Alpha Lipoic Acid, both healers of the brain, will continue to heal, I will still have an issue here. Just as I might still have a limp and an expiration date on when my leg fatigues and I will need to sit down. So too will how much my brain can handle and when it needs to rest. These have to be factored into any future employment decisions.

Most importantly….

  • Must Let go and let God!  There is a world of constructive peace behind that simple, yet not, statement. In its simplicity, it is often misunderstood. It is not a call to do nothing, unless nothing is what is best is in that moment, it is instead a call to give up the outcomes and trust in an infinite power as I do my work.

 

This blog is an honest record. I will tell you when its hard. At the end of this blog’s year, which will be March 26, 2018, I will offer what I’ve tracked for anyone to use to further research, and to be a realistic merit to anyone wanting to invest in their health by implementing the Wahls Protocol into their lives.

 

Bonne Sante

 

Picture from Pexels

“What if?”

Terrified! So, with my concrete declarations of the attention to work one day and be off disability in six months, I had a complete panic attack over that today. I hyperventilated to my friend this afternoon, “Who do I think I am, what do I think this is! I have MS, what if I break off disability, get a job and then make too much money and have to leave my subsidized apartment and then I have a major attack and I lose everything again.” The last time that happened as I said last night, I suffered bankruptcy, loss of direct care of my children, loss of my job, homelessness, forced to drop out of college and stop driving. Who do I think I am. “What if? What if? What if?”

I did what I do when feeling desperately frightened, I shared my fears with a friend. I got all my terrified visions out on the table, she patiently listened to it all, then offered her prudent concerns, because there are many to consider here and offered up positive thoughts too. I said a couple things, I said, “I need to ask God for help, I need to meditate and I need to be around other people tonight.” I phoned a colleague in my non-profit I am involved with, who invited me to a service meeting tonight. “Perfect!”, I answered, “I’ll go.” Then, I sat quiet with a meditation book and sought out a moment of sanity. I like meditation books when I feel this way especially, because the comforting words on the pages push out the crazy “Oh my God!” thinking in my head. I’ll explain my concept of God to you, briefly. God, to me is synonymous with the Power of positive or negative thought, much like the law of gravity. I just find it easier to call that idea GOD. Nice simple three letter word.

Emmet Fox was a Christian Scientist and one of the founding members of the New Thought Movement. Fox was at his height of popularity as a speaker in the 1930’s in New York City. I have a book of his quotes put together in a daily meditation format called “Around the Year with Emmet Fox.” This is the book I picked up this afternoon to meditate with. I closed my eyes and asked for help and flipped the book open. Out of the two pages, I chose to read the right side, December 7 (page 341):

IS IT A LIE?

Thoughtless people sometimes say that our affirmations and meditations are foolish because we state what is not so. “To claim that my body is well or being healed when it is not, is only to tell a lie,” said one distinguished man some years ago.

This is to misunderstand the whole principle. We affirm the harmony that we seek in order to provide the subconscious with a blueprint of the work to be done. When you decide to build a house your architect prepares drawings of a complete house. Actually, of course, there is no such house on the lot today, but you would not think of saying that the architect was drawing a lie. He is drawing what is to be, in order that it may be. So, we build in thought the conditions that will later come into manifestation on the physical plane.

What is your intelligence for if not to be used in building the kind of life that you want? Very primitive men in prehistoric times rejoiced when they found food growing anywhere, and then they waited, perhaps for years, until they happened to find another crop. Today we use our intelligence, and plant in good time the actual crops that we want; and the amount that we consider necessary. We do not sit about hoping that wheat or barley may fortunately come up somewhere. If we did that, civilization would collapse.

The time has come when intelligent men and women must understand the laws of Mind, and plant consciously the crops that they desire; and just as carefully pull up the weeds that they do not want.

Then I told them of the hand of my God which was good upon me; …and they said, Let us rise up and build. So they strengthened their hands for this good work (Nehemiah 2:18).

What are the odds that out of 365 pages, I get this one. How apropos, this alleviated my fears, and, at least for the moment, reassured me that I am going in the right direction. An action that will help too I think is to ask the Wahls Protocol Group I follow on Facebook if others went back to work successfully from disability, how old and did you have financial back up, such as a second income in the house, or were you alone. I’d like to hear what those experienced with Protocol, some as much as seven, eight years have to say. Till then, I’m off to exercise tomorrow than an afternoon in Banff (Rocky Mountains) with a another good friend. I’m up to three friends instrumental in pulling me out of this mood. Nothing like majestic mountains to get your mind off doubt and fear! I began this page with the word “Terrified”. But, will end it with, “Gratitude.” That is a fine day.

 

Bonne Sante

 

 

Willing to go to any lengths

Suffice it to say we live in a world that thrives on instant gratification. In the mainstream of Western culture, realistic expectations can be few and far between. What does that mean? Any goal, change or shift has a timeline. A direction or change for the better that I set for myself, requires acceptance and conviction. That by itself can be a lengthy and timely process. Such as my own journey with the Dr. Wahls Protocol. Starting with a flyer about a talk featuring Dr. Wahls and a cartoon drawing of her in a wheel chair to riding a bicycle. That got me. The MS social worker shot it down when I showed it to her, as she told me not to get my expectations up. But, I had made up my mind to go, so I went. A lot of what Dr. Wahls said that night went over my head, some of it didn’t. I do remember, having to run to the bathroom like four times, and her shooting a compassionate look at me when I came out the fourth time, because she knew what that was about. I remember that. I read my free book, I started the diet and I lasted three months on level I and then quit.

That was three years ago. Why did I quit when it was working? I felt great, my walking was better, my fatigue had dissipated and the brain fog was lifting. Why would I quit? I had lost about 20 lbs and was faced with a long time psychological problem that had to be addressed and wasn’t going to be rectified quickly. It involved an eating disorder that needed me to get to the bottom of it if I were ever to be successful pursuing this lifestyle. The other problem was limited means and not enough knowledge to combat that. And finally, not enough understanding of the new foods, substitutes for the omitted foods and cooking techniques and recipes necessary for variety. I had found myself eating the same thing everyday.

I spent the next two years counseling and getting through the layers of the eating disorder. I went to sexual abuse counseling, dealt with it in a support group, writing, therapy and books. Diet wise, I saw Matt Embry talk when he launched his world tour and start of filming the documentary Living Proof, I read more books and went to online sites. While I did all of this, I ate terrible through it. I put on twice the weight I lost and got progressively sicker from my MS. During that time, I had another fusion operation on my neck and suffered three MS attacks, the last one putting me on a walker and headed towards a wheel chair. That was my bottom.

Were the two years a waste of time? No, I needed the counseling, and I needed to hit a medical bottom to be put in a position to accept this path and become willing to go to any lengths. Because, no less is required. A process that took me two and half years just to successfully begin. This time, I knew that it was a commitment and a half and I was prepared. I bought three cookbooks and I joined several related websites and Facebook groups. I began sourcing best prices for the foods I would need, I began to clean out my cupboards of foods I can’t have anymore. Some of those foods took a little more time to let go of, like sugar in my coffee. I started this blog to help keep me accountable and a record that I could look back on when feeling impatient or pessimistic. I upped my exercise from two days a week to four. I began rehabilitation on my left leg on my own, flexing my foot when I walked, paying attention to the wide left arc my leg goes in when I walk and making a point of forcing my leg straight ahead, which hurt like hell at first. Balance exercises and progressive physical regimes. I needed to not just join the Facebook groups, I had to participate.

Most important, I have to take it a day at a time. A Bachelors Degree doesn’t happen in two months, neither does this. I’ve had MS since 2004, my damage won’t turn around over night, however, it is dramatic what I have experienced in just six months. Incredibly, my damage is what it was five years ago, but better, fog is lifted and fatigue has decreased. I’m at the point of beginning electrical muscle stimulation to rehab atrophied muscles in my left leg, which it turns out are around my hip flexor. Just what I had to go through and am still going through to get that in place has been a ridiculous amount of work. Starting with the fact that I never heard of e-stim before this. I want to attempt a full time job in six months. Reality is that I need to be prepared to accept that that may never be possible for me. Some of my damage will never be reversed. For example, I may lose my limp, but not the fatigue after a time of using it. These things factor. What I can do, is gather information, be prepared to try. To have a real chance at succeeding, I need to think ahead, I need to study programs and safety nets put in place in two disability programs I am involved with. I need to do that for my own protection. Then, I need to study the job market and consider with a realistic mind what I can do and what I can’t do. That takes time to consider. I need to get my college transcripts. Considering I had to declare a complete bankruptcy in the states over a horrendous ms attack in 2009, I don’t even know if I am allowed access to my transcripts. I know this, I don’t want a job I apply to to be the ones to run into this possible road block, I need to know that up front. I need to revamp my resume. I don’t plan on going back to work for six months, but what I can and should do now is work to be properly prepared so that I have a winning chance.

Footwork, footwork, footwork. God will help you dig a hole, but you better bring a shovel. There is no easy path. Guidance is there, backed with hard work and optimism. Change doesn’t come easy, but it is possible. My experience has been that the harder it is, the greater the pay off. I’m in it for the long haul. One day a time.

 

Bonne Sante

Filled with gratitude and utterly frustrated….huh?

A day of mixed emotions of gratitude mixed with utter frustration, all to do with e-stim. I went to my first appointment today, an assessment.

First the gratitude:

The appointment was great and proved to me why it is so important to see a physical therapist. I thought my drop foot leg was stemming from my glute muscle, but learned today, that it is my hip flexer in front that isn’t working properly. The PT showed me how to use the e-stim machine and how to flex my muscle as the electric wave pulses through and exactly where I needed to place the electrodes. He gave me three exercises to do daily to compliment the weakened muscles that I am attempting to rework surrounding what doesn’t work neurologically. He said on a scale of 1 to 5, that I was a 3. He explained that that meant that I could flex the muscles, but was unable to lift my leg with knee bent against gravity.

The scale:

  1. Able to lift against a hand pushing down
  2. Able to lift against gravity, but with difficulty against a hand pushing down
  3. Able to contract the muscle, but unable to lift against gravity
  4. I forget this one and I can’t find it easily online (might be has sensory ability, but unable to contract the muscle).
  5. Unable to move, contract or feel anything as a quadriplegic would experience

He also showed me how to rehabilitate my walking, which I have been doing right. Which are concentrating on flexing my foot and lifting my leg straight up and not out in a left arc swing. The e-stim machine comes with reusable electrode pads, which might last a whole month of daily use if proper care is done after each use. They are $20 to replace. But, he said that you can buy rubber electrodes that are more permanent. Cost about $18.00 for two, with them I will need to buy ultrasound transmission gel, about $8.00 for 8 oz/250 ml. That is easier and cheaper. He says the rubber electrodes are what they use all day, everyday for months. I was given an appointment in two weeks to assess my progress, which of course will depend on my willingness to do the exercises and e-stim every day. That which, I am sure, we all know I will do.

I do have one more point of gratitude that I will add at the end, because I think it important to end on a positive note whenever possible.

Now, the frustration:

If you’ve been following my journey to get e-stim in place, then you know how long, complicated and arduous this has been. For those who haven’t, I’ll recap. Money is not something I have readily. I am on disability and so have a very limited means of income. The Wahls Protocol diet itself is expensive, especially when the supplements are factored in. It is necessary for me to seek subsidy for e-stim. I have a disability worker who has been gracious, available and patient with my situation. That I am grateful for. It is the system that frustrates me. I applied for and received funding for an inexpensive TENS/EMS machine (they run between $150 to $5,000, mine was $150). This required, prescriptions from my MS Neurologist for the machine and another one for physical therapy along with a letter. Did all that, got all that done. Now, all I need is the physical therapy. Specifically, what I need is exactly what I described at the top. I won’t get into every little thing that complicated this, because if I do, this blog will be twenty five paragraphs long. Ultimately, I am having a hard time getting this simple physical therapy covered for a diagnosis that everyone know’s and agrees on. That would be AISH, my Neurologist, Alberta Health and the Physical Therapist. I have five PT visits that I can have per year under Alberta Health, unless they are neurological (didn’t know this till today). If that be the case, then I have to have special permission. In other words (although, I’m sure you get it), if I sprained my ankle, I can use the five visits for that. But, for my situation, because it is neurological, I can’t. I got a call a few hours after my appointment and was told, that they couldn’t put the session I had through because it wasn’t covered under the “five allowed” because its neurological. They are going to contact my case worker for paperwork to request that this be covered. I told her, its 75% there, they (AISH) have the two prescriptions and the letter from my Neurologist. All that needs to be sent now are these questions that I’ve been left to give the physical therapy places to cover under their assessments.

I have had access to rehabilitation via the MS clinics in years past. They have helped me,  especially occupational therapy for the cognitive problems I’ve had. My experience is, that as I get worse, they help me adjust to that. They’ll help me learn to use a cane, or help me get a walker then teach me how to use it. How to maneuver in and out of the bathtub once I lose my ability to get in and out of the tub. I’ve had this drop foot leg from the beginning, 2004, it is my oldest damage. Today is the first time someone told me that it stems from the hip flexor. I was given these exercises that the PT gave me a few years ago amidst a raging attack that was causing my leg to worsen. But, they were no help in the middle of that. Today, I am in a new ball game. One that is helping me get better and in this arena, those exercises will work. They can’t make the lesion disappear, but the diet I am on is helping me become stronger everyday and in this way, the exercises will help me compensate for that weakness. What I find most upsetting is that I’ve been offered several times to have a motorized scooter ($1,300 to 3,000) and professionals are there to see to the paperwork. This is taking forever to get into place and all it is are several PT visits and a $150 machine, both of which will assist me in rehabilitation. Something, in my experience, I’ve not seen made available for MS with the point being to get better. As I said, it is more to learn to deal with new damage, not for rehabilitation. Roar!

Okay, back to the gratitude:

I’ve had the e-stim machine for a month or so now, I haven’t opened it till last night. I thought, I really need to at least look at the book before I bring it to the PT. It came with a 9 volt battery. I put the battery in, the machine doesn’t work (you’d think I’d list this under frustrations, but I have a reason why). Now I’m thinking it probably is the battery, but then what if it isn’t? I’m playing scenario’s of having to find the receipt and go to the store despite the red lettered paper staring at me from the box, “If you have a problem, don’t go to the retailer, call this number.” That bespeaks of never ending headaches and automation, and mailing things in and OMG!. Okay, I got a lid on that ten minutes into it, pointless till I rule out the battery. That left me with the acceptance that I would need to walk the two blocks to Shoppers in the morning before I am picked up to go to the Southland Leisure Center to exercise and then go for PT which is in the same building. My ride was coming at 9:10 am.

Alright, alright….the best part!

I walked the two blocks to Shoppers in 7 minutes! 7 minutes?! If I take the bus (same distance), I always have to leave 20 minutes before, to be sure I’m there before the bus comes. I’ll remind you, without a cane. I got what I needed and walked the two blocks back, without resting, 7 minutes again. And yes, it was the battery. The free battery was crap. I went to the Southland Leisure Center and worked out for 40 minutes, showered and headed off to my appointment, which required me to walk and practice the exercises given by the PT, not arduously, but no way, could I have been able to walk, then workout, then go to an hour long physical therapy appointment. Is this ever worth all the headaches? Yes it is! And ultimately, my gratitude far exceeds my frustration!

 

Bonne Sante

 

Artwork from Dreamstime: https://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-images-happy-sad-face-faces-abstract-doodle-drawing-image38425409

Moving forward, onward and upwards!

Yes! An appointment is had! I start physio for electrical muscle stimulation (e-stim) Tuesday. I am so very excited to finally get this started. For those who haven’t followed other blogs I’ve posted about e-stim. E-stim uses a machine (like TENS, but stronger) that introduces a pulsing electric shock via sticky electrode pads deep into the atrophied muscle causing it to move. Dr. Wahls used e-stim one hour a day for three years on her most effected area’s, her lower back and her left drop foot to great success. In other words, this is not a quick fix and requires a disciplined daily dedication and commitment. Along with that are exercises specific for building flexibility and strength into these long not used muscles. Exercise wise, I have guessed at some, but a physical therapist will be able to show me specific to my particular damage exercises and show exactly where to place the electrodes. I was told today that I have five PT sessions covered by Alberta Health Services and if they feel I should have more, they will submit the necessary paperwork to AISH (Alberta Disability). Thank you for taking the bureaucracy away from me! And thank you AISH for covering the expense of the machine. According to all that I’ve read, you don’t use the machine while exercising. The complimenting exercises are done with your regular workout routine or whenever, at home or at the gym.

Hamstrings_EMS_recovery.jpeg

 

imageService

Its funny, I tell people, like the woman making my appointment today, that I was on a walker six months ago and just got off my cane four weeks ago because of a diet lifestyle not drugs. I have a polite, “Oh that’s nice.” But, I don’t think it registers that I have MS and my damage is reversing not progressing. On the other hand, anyone who knows me well and has seen me struggle with this disease and get progressively worse, they do get it. Well, moving forward, onward and upwards!

 

Bonne Sante

 

Picture from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/adult-adventure-beautiful-climb-287240/

Yay, feeling better!

The cramping is over! And the spasticity is subsiding. I still have bloating, but my sinuses have dried up. You wouldn’t think that cheaper foods could cause such havoc, but after eating better for five months, my body reacted badly to it. It just strengthens my resolve to be strict. I mentioned in the last couple of blogs how I’ve been sick, about five days now, from a culmination of cheap meat, almost no organic vegetables and not taking digestive supplements which really are crucial. That coupled with off and on Ketosis, causing the Ketosis flu which is a need for Potassium, Sodium and Magnesium. I ran into these problems because I am on disability, which means, I don’t have a lot to spend, leaving no room for financial mishap or error. This diet is more than double the cost for groceries, that which includes only some of the supplements recommended. I have to rigidly juggle my expenses, which I have done successfully for five months, but the carpal tunnel surgery, a convention I attended and overspending on supplements and an event caused me to have to cut way back on spending for food and supplements. Suffice it to say, that won’t happen again, if its within my control. I stayed compliant, in that I didn’t have dairy, gluten or sugar (a minuscule amount in sauces at the convention). It was rather, the lack of supplements needed for this diet and cheap meat (that was the worst I think).

Right now, I am finally feeling better and even danced earlier to Jeff Beck. If you know 1970’s Jeff Beck, then you know that that man had a lot of funk in his music, especially the albums Wired and There and Back, both of which featured Jan Hammer. Jan Hammer who was originally with the Mahavishnu Orchestra and after his years with Jeff Beck, later went on to write and perform the award winning music for Miami Vice. Okay, the trivia break is over.

An important component to my staying the course is imagery. I see myself going back to work and succeeding in six months. I see myself regaining my driver’s license in one year. I see myself owning a car in one and half years. Everyday, I am getting more flexible, stronger, more balanced. I do still tip a lot, but have no doubt that too will come with time, patience and hard work. All of this is hard work. It is a commitment. But, one that pays and pays and pays.

I bought another ticket for the final showing of Living proof in Calgary to accompany a friend, to be supportive and for another shot of inspiration in the arm (that never hurts). Everything is still up in the air with e-stim. One of the physical therapy rehabs I had spoke with before is in the same building as where I exercise. I am going to talk to them tomorrow and see if I can get this attended to so that I can begin……finally!

 

Bonne Sante

 

Picture from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/melting-yellow-tablet-in-the-filled-drinking-glass-34505/

 

 

Advertising and My Blog

It is because of two 100% not commercialized organizations, both of which saved my life for two different reasons and during two different periods in my life that I sit here writing this blog at all. I’ve learned that the truth must remain untainted and that only happens when money for personal gain is kept out of it. When it is time for me to return to work because this lifestyle is leading me in that eventual direction, it will not be this blog or public speaking this message that will be making me a profit. My work on this blog will be in addition to what I do to earn my living. The work I do on the blog and any other way I can carry this message to others will have spiritual merits that far outweigh any money I could mar this with.

Why so strict? Because I’ve many lessons in my life about the power of an unconditional message. Once ads are floating all around it, it becomes mired in other motives and then I can’t take it seriously anymore. I’m not talking about books and media developed by the writer, orator, or producer carrying the message as cheaply as possible so that they aren’t bankrupt carrying the message, I’m all for necessary expenses being covered, such as travel expenses for the speaker by the sponsors of the event or a decent book charge to cover the expense of everything it takes to publish and distribute a book. That’s not what I am talking about at all. I’m talking about side bar ads, pop up ads, google ads, or worse, excepting money from pharmaceutical companies, which would be like Alcoholics Anonymous being funded by Anheuser-Busch, etc. Further would be overcharging for media and services. I can’t take the messenger seriously when I see that. I’ve seen selfless acts of carrying this particular message by highly educated people for nothing. Both Producer Matt Embry’s website MSHope and his father, Geologist Dr. Ashton Embry’s direct-ms.org are both 100% non profit. Dr. Embry’s site is dedicated to using 95% of all funds collected to support CCSVI research. Because we all know we need more medical providers who understand this lifestyle and the science behind it. So, if the Powers that be would have it, the care of which will eventually be covered by the mainstream medical models and then made available to all of us straight from their doctors, how nice would that be. In the mean time, we must be our own doctors, researchers and advocates.

Dr. Wahls research began with Dr. Embry’s. Dr. Embry researched the diet correlation between nutrition and MS and put his son on the diet straight away in 1996 and he realized a connection between vitamin D and MS in 2001 as did Dr. Coimbra across the world in Brazil, around the same time (see research and web sites page).  All of this takes lots of proof. And because these holistic methods do not make certain billion dollar companies money and threaten half their profit and they currently have the power, it is an uphill battle that will not be won easily. But, steadfast, one day at a time, meticulous reporting and research. And pure, unfettered motives. Don’t get me wrong, we are all human, we will all be tempted (“Luke, come to the dark side.”) and we will all screw up or some of us will find the climb too hard and quit.

If I want to be taken seriously, I must document honestly, good and bad about myself, I must tell about my successes and my set backs and there can be no profit motive or this record won’t be worth much. That is how I feel, that is the person I’ve always been. I’m up for the challenge! How about you?!

On a personal recovery note: I am still sick. Its in my intestines. I am feeling better after three decent meals last night and today. I bought some good digestive enzymes and I drank Kombucha tea (1/2 cup) and am taking probiotic capsules to help right the upset. To deal with Ketosis flu symptoms till I get on top of that again, I’m adding Magnesium and extra salt. Trying to eat more fish, spinach and almonds. It is all helping.

One final note: I was lucky to have an Ethics Professor who taught Ethics for 30 years at Harvard, I got him when he chose to teach part time after retiring at my small Maine University. I remember him saying, “Where are the young’s voices in regards to oppression and corruption as they were in the 60’s?” Well, this is a worthy movement and were all sober, well I am!

 

Bonne Sante

 

Picture from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/light-london-adverts-piccadilly-circus-34639/

Living Proof Review

Living Proof was as good as I thought it would be. It did receive enthusiastic applause at its conclusion and many good questions were asked during the Q and A. I had the chance to say thank you to Dr. Ashton Embry for all his forthright work which made this possible for me and to Matt Embry for inspiring me and being supportive. I won’t describe the documentary, except to say this, it is part biography, Matt Embry’s (the film maker and Dr. Ashton Embry’s son) about his diagnosis of MS, part expose, of the MS society and the medical industries, both of which are in bed with the pharmaceutical companies and part hope, that there is an answer in lifestyle discipline of diet, exercise, vitamin D and stress management. The filming was great, it was well done. It was on the list to be included for voting for awards. I gave it a 5 as I am sure most in the audience did. There is one more showing, a third added after the first two sold out. They still have tickets for Saturday, September 30 at 9:30 pm showing at The Globe Theater. Buy tickets online by googling “Living Proof Calgary Film Festival”. Global distribution is in the works.

For me, I was not well this morning, but am doing better tonight. Good thing, for a time, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to attend tonight. I bought cheap fatty hamburger to get through the rest of the month and ate it four days in a row. I have been buying grass fed beef or bison from the natural market, but couldn’t afford it the way this month has been going financially. Did I pay for that. Stomach cramps, bloating, nose running, ugh, the worst was the spasticity and weakness coming back. I get to start next month tomorrow and will have money in the bank. First thing is grocery shopping, starting with the natural market.

Tomorrow I want to talk about websites and blogs that are inundated with advertising and popups galore. My promise to you, this blog will never be used to generate money, no ad will ever find its way here.

 

Bonne Sante

The Fountain of Youth

Went to exercise this morning. I had some weakness revisit me today and some spasticity come back at night too. I have got to get back into a routine for my Ketosis diet, between the conference, lack of money and the surgery, its really thrown me. For the most part I’ve stayed compliant to the best of my ability with all of this, but, the conference did cause me to eat some foods that were not ideal, the surgery caused me to fall out of routine and habit, and the short funds caused me to not take the supplements I really need to take (ran out and haven’t replenished) and I’ve relied on sub par foods, like cheap meats and mostly non-organic foods. I’ve fallen out of ketosis three times because of these three successive situations. I felt the long term ramifications of this today. Smarten up they say, paradoxically, Living Proof is tomorrow night. Good, I need a good motivator. Not that I’m anywhere near quitting. I’m not, not at all. I need to be very strict with my schedule, no surgeries, no conferences and a tight and micromanaged control on my money, which is what made me successful the first five months. There, other than that, I’m back in beginning ketosis, meaning, flu and sleepiness again till acclimate again. That’s the biggest reason to be very strict with my regime. This bouncing in and out of Ketosis isn’t good.

Reading, I thought about reading the book many times today, didn’t happen, but I did think about it 25 times or more. Tomorrow is a very busy day, so busy that I found it necessary to cancel my scheduled workout tomorrow. People coming over, then to the movie, I need my morning free to get things done and be rested for tomorrow night. It will be necessary to wait in line for an hour to be sure to sit together. This is advanced sales and unassigned seating. This theater is in a Mall, so that is helpful. We can take turns walking in the mall and holding our place in the line. I spoke briefly today with someone higher up in the Calgary Film Festival, because I couldn’t get a human on the phone in any other way to ask how early we should arrive tomorrow. I ended with her answering machine and she did call me back which impressed me greatly. She was gracious and accommodating. I told her that we had figured out our game plan, turns out one of our friends attending tomorrow is very familiar with the festival and the cinema. When I mentioned it was Living Proof we were attending, she said, “Boy, that’s a popular one!” That was great to hear.

One more thing, most of my life, I’ve been told I look younger than I am, its been a constant. Except for the last six or seven years. I crossed that invisible line into, well, invisible. But, not so the last month. I’ve heard repeatedly from people about my looks and mistaking me for a much younger person. So, if anyone is looking for the Fountain of Youth, look no further, this is it.

Just now, I got a call back from the coordinator for the Festival who went way out of her way to help me with the line tomorrow. I did say earlier that we figured it all out and were all set, but she said don’t worry. I did say that I have MS and I just needed to know what to expect with waiting times. She set it up so that we don’t have to wait. I told her, I feel bad about that because I’m not that disabled…..anymore. I explained to her, this movie is about a way of life that I’ve been following for six months that took me off a walker and a cane. I continued to point out that I was sure there would be others that will need the help more than I. Plus, there is five of us and I am the only one with MS. She said, “My God, you don’t have to apologize about that. That’s exciting!” I explained its happening to people all over the world, some film themselves, like the man who films himself daily making gains, recently he got out of his wheelchair to do squats at the end of five months. It should be on the front page of newspapers all over the world, but its not. Don’t you think that’s weird?

I am again on what my friend fondly describes as my “Soap Box.” “Your on your soap box again, get off it.”, she interjects. That is a problem I have. Oh well. I am grateful for the help, that is gratifying, I just feel guilty. Matt Embry put up a picture of Living Proof stickers someone at the Toronto Festival made for him for people to wear. I think if stickers show up tomorrow, I’ll put one on my forehead.

 

Bonne Sante

 

Picture from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/bubble-clean-clear-close-up-459104/