Focus, patience and calm, no less is required.

I read once that the highest percentages of car accidents happen within one mile of home. That’s because we switch to auto pilot and become less observant and alert, over confident and driving on memory. Whereas, less familiar routes, we need to pay constant attention. Also, anticipating home, we might speed up, anxious to get there. I’m a jewelry artist, working mostly in bead embroidery. My pieces can sometimes take months to finish. Within hours of finishing the piece, I speed up and make near fatal flaws, because I can see the end in sight, I am excited to do the finishing touches and complete the piece that I have been meticulous with up to that point. Same theory. I’m going through that right now. I can see the finish line for my foray into the work world and greater independence, but I’m not quite there yet. Here is where I must be particularly careful, lest I jump the gun and undo half of what I’ve achieved so far.

I take something called Access Calgary, which is a door to door service for the disabled using handibuses, vans and checker cabs. I’ve utilized the service for three years now. When I started the Wahls Protocol nine months ago, the drivers knew right away I was the one they were picking up, I either had a walker and always my cane. I just didn’t look well. Now, especially at the Southland Leisure Centre where I work out, they don’t make a b-line for me anymore and twice this week, they went back in their vehicles and phoned Access that they could not find the rider. When I called Access and was directed to the correct vehicle, in both situations, the drivers said, “I saw you, but didn’t think….”. Today too, again. Obviously, I’m looking healthy and compared to most of the people were picking up, I am. And I am grateful. But, as strong as I look, I’m not ready to give Access up yet. Where I work out would take a bus, a train and a bus to get to. An hour of transit one way, carrying a gym bag. The same gym bag will be filled with wet clothes on the way home and a fatigued leg from working out. I take regular transit for local trips and reserve Access for complicated trips like the above. I still suffer from fatigue. I walk strong, but I still have an expiration date and will still fatigue. Eventually, I think I will most definitely be able to let go of Access. But right now, I need them to help me continue to rehabilitate.

I guess, I’m experiencing an in between point. I am rehabilitating to the point of feeling well enough to work and stand on my own two feet, but not quite there yet. I have three more months of intensive rehabilitation to go before I am ready to take the first really big step out. I have an appointment with the MS psychiatrist and the MS social worker at month’s end to discuss psychologically getting ready for the possibility of working full time. Now, I say possibility because I have not one but two neurological conditions to consider. I have a fused neck, a result of a stenosis and compression. The last thing I want to do is aggravate that. I’ve had two surgeries there, don’t want a third one, because then were talking c/1 and c/2, into the base of the skull. And I’ve read nothing but horror stories about that. This is one aspect I will carefully discuss with my doctors. It may be when its all said and done, that part time is the best I can do. I’m shooting for full time, while reservedly, remaining realistic.

I guess time will tell the future story,

 

Bonne Sante

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s