I was a little down earlier today, unmotivated, stayed in pajamas. Maybe the gloomy weather today, not sure, or just tired. I found myself feeling a little depressed. But, today is Wednesday, Farmer’s Market day. The market is from 3 to 7 pm, I always go. I buy my greens there and whereas I finished off my last cup of baby kale this morning in my smoothie, hard as I tried, I couldn’t come up with a better plan then taking my walk over there. I needed greens and I needed my walk, especially in that mood. So, I got dressed and I marched over there. I chose to leave my leg brace for drop foot behind and wore my regular shoes. My thinking? I want to walk in a way that allows me to flex my foot. With the AFO, I am unable to bend my foot as one would when they walk because of a steel piece that inserts into the shoe that keeps your toe up when walking. I want to begin training my leg to walk as it once did, a little at a time, a step at a time. My left leg is stiff with spasticity (same leg), I am focusing on making my knee loosen up as I walk. Its a lot of thinking, but it helps. Its a beginning.
As I walk, my mood is already beginning to lift. I usually walk with my cane and the AFO, but for this I bring my walker, so I can hang the bag on it coming back. I thought, maybe I should leave the walker behind, but think better of it, I’m not ready to do that yet. I haven’t used the walker since last Wednesday’s trip to the Farmer’s Market. I walk the two blocks over and take my time with each booth, I talked with the woman selling fermented everything, have to learn how to do this, I took down the name of a book that she describes as her “bible”, called, “Mastering Fermentation”. This will be the next book I buy. In all I visited the Italian Chef with his sauces, the natural meats and fish man, the bone broth booth, and most important the truly organic greens I need. I spent $19 and bought a bag of spinach, arugula, basil, baby kale and four beef steak tomatoes.
I got what I came for and I begin to walk the two blocks back home. Halfway home, it dawns on me that my arms aren’t hurting. When I take the walker, my arms weaken because of the way I have to hold them slightly out when grasping the walker. I have attributed this too the three fusions in my neck, but today, I have learned otherwise, that in fact, the weakness has been MS. Having two neurological conditions, its hard to know which causes what. Last Wednesday, I had to keep switching arms and stopping to rest to take the pressure off my arms. When I realized that my arms were no longer weak in this position! I cried the rest of the way home. I can’t believe it! Daily, I see change. For one thing, six weeks ago, this walk was impossible, four weeks ago, I could do it only with a rest every half block with a sit down rest at the Farmer’s Market for 30 minutes before the walk home. I walked all that, without faltering, I only felt my left leg weakening the last half block from home and my arms stayed strong.
Suffice it to say, I am no longer feeling depressed!
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