Fear

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being nervous that my doctors will refuse to support my decision to use the protocol. I could never afford the battery of tests required. When it seems insurmountable, I remember who’s in charge here. Its not them, its not me, its my Higher Power and if I am to have access to Dr. Coimbra’s protocol, it will fall into place one way or another. I work very hard to keep my thoughts in the moment at hand. Tomorrows moment is calling my doctors. Haven’t decided if it is best to request a short visit where I am expected to explain in five minutes or less, or request an appointment for a physical, but that appointment will take longer to schedule. I do think that its best to explain in person, not over the phone. Its ridiculous that we have to worry over being approved for something that works so well in comparison to other methods, is cheapest and has no side effects. Well, there I am deciding outcomes again, I don’t know what will happen. There, I said it, let it go now.

On a more positive and less fearful note, today’s water class was great. Usually when climbing up the ladder of the pool, I have to climb the steps like a toddler. At the beginning of the class, I climbed out the normal way and it was fairly easy to get my left leg moving up the steps! At the end of the class, I did this again and it was a little harder to do given the workout I just had, but I did it. In the cardio room, I was tired. I did my stretching and tried the elliptical cross country skiing machine (I used to cross country ski). I lasted two minutes, but the whole two minutes registered that I was doing something. Unlike the last time when the screen repeated, “Resume workout?”, over and over for the two minutes I lasted on it. Have to remind myself that this is an improvement.

All this energy I’m having as of late is making it a challenge to sleep, last night found me waking full of energy at 1:30 am. Didn’t go back to sleep till 3 am and then awake every hour after. Might have something to do with the tiredness in the gym this morning. Other than that, I don’t feel sleepy. I might have to consider not drinking any coffee. I’ve cut down from two cups to one, only because of the lack of cream and sugar, and then I’m only drinking half of a large cup. Adjustments, adjustments.

Bon Sante

The Picture is from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/full-frame-shot-of-text-on-wood-326642/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s